Diary Of A Schwifty Kid

Writings, musings, and a general take on life.

Make America Debate Again

Election night has come and gone. To many there is resounding joy, and to others there is an overwhelming chagrin to the close of a night that gave way to our newest president-elect, Donald Trump. In a political upset that many are still in utter disbelief from, the Republican candidate with absolutely no political experience (a trait that much of his constituency consider his defining asset) managed to defeat the Democratic, and then shoe-in candidate, Hillary Clinton. Everyone has an opinion on the election and I am no different. To say that the choices presented in this election were easy to choose and distinguish between would be a complete lie. Most of the electorate seems to have had to make a choice akin to the “It’s complicated” relationship status on Facebook in terms of how they voted – making it the first time that particular relationship status was particularly helpful in clearing up anything to anyone on the outside. Continue reading “Make America Debate Again”


How To Divide A Town With Only $17

Throughout history wars have been fought for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes the reason is territorial or political, or perhaps like the Trojan War, the reason is simply a beautiful woman. However, when you live in Plymouth Massachusetts and your town’s biggest draw is an unremarkable boulder that is questionable in its claim as the landing point of the pilgrims, you don’t see too much going on in the way of conventional drama. Needless to say, sometimes the pot gets shaken up in ways one might not expect. As it happened, the other day the town stood dived – shaken apart by an issue that seemed to be served up on a silver platter…or rather a plastic take-away container. The War of the (chicken) Wings had begun. (Okay, they were actually Chicken tenders, but how could I resist that “Lord of the Rings” joke?)

Continue reading “How To Divide A Town With Only $17”

Tips To Get You Through Japan (In No Particular Order)

I’ll start off by saying I am in no way an authority on foreign etiquette at all. On my recent trip abroad to Japan, I did everything in my power to prevent myself from looking like a complete and total jackass. The illusion that I was a perfectly capable, courteous, and tolerant human being was sometimes shattered by my penchant for clumsiness or my sometimes oblivious nature. Continue reading “Tips To Get You Through Japan (In No Particular Order)”

Returning Japanese

First off, let’s get this out of the way right from the starting gate. “Returning Japanese” is in fact the title of a “King of the Hill” two-part episode (my favorite if I might add), and I shamelessly ripped it for a blog post title. Mike Judge is a comedic and writing genius who deserves the recognition. Ripoffs aside, this blog post title accurately describes how I’m feeling after returning from a 17 day vacation in the Land of the Rising Sun. A vacation that was certainly long enough to immerse myself in the culture, and to get a taste of the local flavor- both the good and bad. Whether it is for better or for worse, I’ve returned from my trip with a bit of Japanese in me. Try figuring that shit out, scientists. Continue reading “Returning Japanese”

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